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but i'm learning to trust in you.

once everything comes together, it just needs to fall apart again. You can never be completely happy always. You can never be perfect always. You always have to deal with the falling apart. But you got to stick through it, because once its broken again, you just build up. And the build up, is so worth the fall.

I've considered giving up a few times, but i haven't gone through with it. just because i know how close we are to leaving, how close we are to being together every single day. Not having to worry about what the other is doing, no having to hide us, not having to wonder how we will see each other this week.

And sometimes, it may seem not worth it. but in the long run, every second of your time is worth it.

and everything seems to be going amazing.



showcase thursday,
formal saturday.

stressed for showcase.
but bio-meds projects will be amazing.



kelsie. lovelovelove you more than anything<3

I'm going to try. Don't let me down.

bitch, please.

You just don't make me that happy any more.
That "someday", seems to be turning into a "never again"
Holla at me when you get your priorities straight, yeah?
I don't have time for these games any more.


Atleast kelsie keeps me sane.<3

there you are to bring me up once again.


No matter how difficult my life is, i love it.

im really happy, and i wish it could stay this way.
Today, i am happy. And i don't know why, but i like it...


I love Kelsie

Because i don't, it just makes me feel so much better. 

that it is almost December 15th? 
Im putting my walls back up, because i don't know if i can handle any one else ever coming in, the way you did.
I can't forget about you, i can't stop thinking about you.
Its making me sick.
I miss you, and i don't even know why! 
You fucking ripped my heart out, and fucked me over in every way possible!
You don't deserve me, and everything ive fucking done for you.
But none of that can stop me from loving you.
I shouldn't love you.
I shouldn't care so much.
I should just move on right? 
Just like everyyyyoneee sayyss ;  "move on, you'll find someone so much better;" 
What if i don't want better? 
What if everything i want, is everything we use to have before things got bad? 
What if what i want, is you, everyday, for the rest of my life.
It makes no sense,
Why want and thrive and need someone who only hurts you.

You know me better than anyone else.
You know just what to do to make me smile.
You know just what to do to pull me back in.
Deep down, below that tough surface, you're perfect for me.

Maybe im just stupid.
I need to stop thinking so much, it's only bringing me down.
I'm confused, i'm hurt, i'm alone.


Maybe i just need friends...

days become more boring as each pass.



well, back to school tomorrow.
First day back in a long time.

If it's just me, adjust me baby find the words that define these feelings
Don't roll your eyes when you look at me, hard to talk when you're staring at the ceiling
Push through, push through baby everything we've been through lately
I'll be there when close your eyes hold you tight say goodnight.

You don't even know. :)

Juvenile hall, is not scary. At all, just crazy ass bitches. Legit ass fuck bitches. ahahahaha no joke!
4 days of it, made me figure out a lot of shit.
Ankle moniter, ahahaha its cute.



But seriously, im happy. For once.

like, a legit kind of happy.

reading is amazing.
halo/gh3 is amazing.
realization, is amazing.

Three of them mention "give space."